Lately I have been feeling to urge to write a lot. Most of the time it doesn't even make sense to me...which doesn't help. ;] This one was inspired while on the bus and watching a field next to the road we were on. eh.
Weeds
By Karina Young
2 October 2009
Lost in the weeds
Trying to get out
Run home
When I run the weeds
Tear at me
Grabbing my flesh
Biting me
Drawing blood
With every step
Leap
Bound I make
They take hold
So I stop
And stay still
Breathing heavy
As my eyes dart around
Frantically searching
For an exit
Like an animal
I remain unscathed
When I stay still
But I must get out
I can endure it
The claws of the weeds
Trying to pull me back in
Still lost
Yet still searching
I move to find the
Edge of THIS field
Moving to find
My way home
Even if the weeds
Take a part of me
With them
They cannot take
All of me.
02 October 2009
30 September 2009
Lying to Myself
Everyone wants to love and be loved. But I personally can't see my self totally giving in to another human being. I probably will someday and that MIGHT be nice. But I have some trust issues I need to smash into smithereens first.....etc....
ahem...and please don't think I am depressed or anything with this poem. I was on the bus and I jotted it down. I should really go through and edit the damn thing. :]
Just saying...in case Mama reads this and starts asking me if anything is wrong...hahaha
Lying to Myself
By Karina Young
30 September 2009
I don’t want to be loved
I want to hurt
To feel sadness
To long for any thing
I cannot have
To know I am alive
By my rush of
Wild mental states
But living in that
One mode of utter bliss
That I am supposed to want
Isn’t living
One emotions rule
Over the mind
Over the body
Over the soul
Is a straight jacket
A dusty prison cell
So why do I want it
Why relinquish living
Why leave the sadness
The loneliness
The anger
The hate
Out of it
Why yearn to be told
That I am beautiful
What is this desire
To abandon my insecurities
And live in the arms
Of someone who will
Never know them
This rush of emotion
Just one emotion
Why do I want it
I cannot understand
And what I really
Cannot understand is
Why won’t it die
Leaving me free
and my anger
my sadness
my loneliness
my all
Still uncaring?
ahem...and please don't think I am depressed or anything with this poem. I was on the bus and I jotted it down. I should really go through and edit the damn thing. :]
Just saying...in case Mama reads this and starts asking me if anything is wrong...hahaha
Lying to Myself
By Karina Young
30 September 2009
I don’t want to be loved
I want to hurt
To feel sadness
To long for any thing
I cannot have
To know I am alive
By my rush of
Wild mental states
But living in that
One mode of utter bliss
That I am supposed to want
Isn’t living
One emotions rule
Over the mind
Over the body
Over the soul
Is a straight jacket
A dusty prison cell
So why do I want it
Why relinquish living
Why leave the sadness
The loneliness
The anger
The hate
Out of it
Why yearn to be told
That I am beautiful
What is this desire
To abandon my insecurities
And live in the arms
Of someone who will
Never know them
This rush of emotion
Just one emotion
Why do I want it
I cannot understand
And what I really
Cannot understand is
Why won’t it die
Leaving me free
and my anger
my sadness
my loneliness
my all
Still uncaring?
29 September 2009
Close your eyes
Close your eyes
By Karina Young
28 September 2009
I try to open my eyes
To see this new world
I am living in
But it is too wild
Too blurred
Moving too fast
Moving too slow
Moving in a way
I cannot bear to watch
So I close my eyes
And there waiting for me
Are wondrous things
Things that my mind
Could never translate
Into words
This world is real
I tell my self
I can feel the heaviness
Surrounding me
The feeling that I
Am actually THERE
In the world
And not just a
Feather-light and lifeless soul
Drifting through
Every movement takes
Patience and determination
Even extending my arm
Takes attention and will
So glorious
So good
So drunk on this world
I am
Till it starts to fade
And reality comes
CRASHING down
Like heavy black drapes
A hundred yards of it
Slipping over my body
Enveloping me darkness
And forcing me to
Open my eyes and
Find a way OUT
Now my eyes are open
The world is moving again
In a way I cannot bear to watch.
By Karina Young
28 September 2009
I try to open my eyes
To see this new world
I am living in
But it is too wild
Too blurred
Moving too fast
Moving too slow
Moving in a way
I cannot bear to watch
So I close my eyes
And there waiting for me
Are wondrous things
Things that my mind
Could never translate
Into words
This world is real
I tell my self
I can feel the heaviness
Surrounding me
The feeling that I
Am actually THERE
In the world
And not just a
Feather-light and lifeless soul
Drifting through
Every movement takes
Patience and determination
Even extending my arm
Takes attention and will
So glorious
So good
So drunk on this world
I am
Till it starts to fade
And reality comes
CRASHING down
Like heavy black drapes
A hundred yards of it
Slipping over my body
Enveloping me darkness
And forcing me to
Open my eyes and
Find a way OUT
Now my eyes are open
The world is moving again
In a way I cannot bear to watch.
28 September 2009
Inner Workings (poem)
Inner Workings
By Karina Young
27 September 2009
Curious as a cat
I wished to know his mind
I wished to know those
Deep inner workings
So I reached to touch
And unlatched the door
Barring this knowledge from me
His face opened and before my eyes
Was a race of small beings
This is how he functioned
With these small wonders
Swarming around in his mind
Carrying out their duties
His face was a series of
Intricate webs and wires
Flickering lights
Occasionally smoke
Darkness and dust
And matter unknown to me
I stared in marvel
At this creature
This fascinating entity
Utterly in awe
At the sight of it all
And yet still uncomprehending
Still lost and unknowing
I put his mask on again
Allowing him to hide
Such a marvelous sight
Once more
Letting HIM choose what he
Wishes to and NOT to reveal
In my mind I seal the doorway
With a kiss
Hoping he doesn’t let the lock
Stay frozen and rusted
Until the end of days.
By Karina Young
27 September 2009
Curious as a cat
I wished to know his mind
I wished to know those
Deep inner workings
So I reached to touch
And unlatched the door
Barring this knowledge from me
His face opened and before my eyes
Was a race of small beings
This is how he functioned
With these small wonders
Swarming around in his mind
Carrying out their duties
His face was a series of
Intricate webs and wires
Flickering lights
Occasionally smoke
Darkness and dust
And matter unknown to me
I stared in marvel
At this creature
This fascinating entity
Utterly in awe
At the sight of it all
And yet still uncomprehending
Still lost and unknowing
I put his mask on again
Allowing him to hide
Such a marvelous sight
Once more
Letting HIM choose what he
Wishes to and NOT to reveal
In my mind I seal the doorway
With a kiss
Hoping he doesn’t let the lock
Stay frozen and rusted
Until the end of days.
23 September 2009
Gray
Gray
By Karina Young
23 September 2009
Tranquil
Tranquility
Tranquillized
You’re death
You’re dying
You’re dead
Taking it in
To feel
To know
How can you feel
How can you know
When the world is gray
When all you see is gray
When your soul
Starts to wither
And become gray
Gray energy
Nothing is clear
Not black and white
GRAY
A blur of gray
Solemn
Sad
And Stupid
So stupid!
Makes me want to cry out
WHY
I asked to be saved
But who needs the saving?
How can any of us be saved
When the world is so gray
The world is death
It’s dying
It’s dead
Gone and gray
Is the world
Tranquil
It’s tranquility
Being tranquillized.
By Karina Young
23 September 2009
Tranquil
Tranquility
Tranquillized
You’re death
You’re dying
You’re dead
Taking it in
To feel
To know
How can you feel
How can you know
When the world is gray
When all you see is gray
When your soul
Starts to wither
And become gray
Gray energy
Nothing is clear
Not black and white
GRAY
A blur of gray
Solemn
Sad
And Stupid
So stupid!
Makes me want to cry out
WHY
I asked to be saved
But who needs the saving?
How can any of us be saved
When the world is so gray
The world is death
It’s dying
It’s dead
Gone and gray
Is the world
Tranquil
It’s tranquility
Being tranquillized.
17 September 2009
Card of the Day: Two of Wands-Opportunity
Sometimes when I read my Tarot cards they can be quite spooky. Not that they reveal scary things to me (usually) but when they fit so perfectly into my current situation it spooks me!
I have just gotten done pulling my card for today after not doing so for a wee bit now. I got the Two of Wands. The picture showed two men talking and they seemed a bit lost on what to do. I had an instant “oh snap!” moment.
This card is supposed to symbolize that things are off to a good start and may indicate a period of waiting. I’m already waiting so when does it end Mr.Two of Wands, eh?
Here is the general gist of what the book says since I am horrible at explaining my views on something:
The early stages of an enterprise. The need to wait to see how matters will develop. Not much actively happening (f!). Sincere effort. Faith in the future. Partnership matters. Growth. Headed on the right direction. WAITING FOR A REPLY. Where do I go from here?
The Two of Wands is supposed to show that there will be a waiting period where I am going to feel restless (gawds!) as I prepare for change. I MIGHT (hur hur hur) feel uneasy while this is happening. I am supposed to deal with the problem energetically (how the f! do I do that? And what the bloody hell does that mean!). The card is supposed to tell me to take charge of my life and that I have the ability to overcome obstacles.
The book says it will end in success. But that confuses me because I don’t know how I want the problem to end.
Eeks! The problem with Tarot cards is when I don’t know if the first thing that pops into my head is what the cards are trying to show and help me with. Someone else read them for me. Teehee.
Oh well. We will see if the cards work out. Maybe I will do a full reading…or several. Jk!
I have just gotten done pulling my card for today after not doing so for a wee bit now. I got the Two of Wands. The picture showed two men talking and they seemed a bit lost on what to do. I had an instant “oh snap!” moment.
This card is supposed to symbolize that things are off to a good start and may indicate a period of waiting. I’m already waiting so when does it end Mr.Two of Wands, eh?
Here is the general gist of what the book says since I am horrible at explaining my views on something:
The early stages of an enterprise. The need to wait to see how matters will develop. Not much actively happening (f!). Sincere effort. Faith in the future. Partnership matters. Growth. Headed on the right direction. WAITING FOR A REPLY. Where do I go from here?
The Two of Wands is supposed to show that there will be a waiting period where I am going to feel restless (gawds!) as I prepare for change. I MIGHT (hur hur hur) feel uneasy while this is happening. I am supposed to deal with the problem energetically (how the f! do I do that? And what the bloody hell does that mean!). The card is supposed to tell me to take charge of my life and that I have the ability to overcome obstacles.
The book says it will end in success. But that confuses me because I don’t know how I want the problem to end.
Eeks! The problem with Tarot cards is when I don’t know if the first thing that pops into my head is what the cards are trying to show and help me with. Someone else read them for me. Teehee.
Oh well. We will see if the cards work out. Maybe I will do a full reading…or several. Jk!
16 September 2009
Sleep
Sleep
By Karina Young
16 September 2009
Sleep
Who dares to sleep
When the possibility of dreaming
Is almost guaranteed
When we can’t escape truths
Revealed to us
Through distorted images
And frighteningly real emotions
Where everything is exaggerated
Though they don’t need to be
In order to open our eyes
And shut them again
Sleep
I don’t dare sleep
When I know the second
My physical eyes close
My mind opens
And out comes pouring
Truths I am not ready for
Truths I already know
Truths I don’t want to acknowledge
And I know the truth hurts
But in dreams it pierces my skin
Burns my flesh
Eats at me until I am hollow
Sleep
Who dares to sleep
When dreams can come true?
By Karina Young
16 September 2009
Sleep
Who dares to sleep
When the possibility of dreaming
Is almost guaranteed
When we can’t escape truths
Revealed to us
Through distorted images
And frighteningly real emotions
Where everything is exaggerated
Though they don’t need to be
In order to open our eyes
And shut them again
Sleep
I don’t dare sleep
When I know the second
My physical eyes close
My mind opens
And out comes pouring
Truths I am not ready for
Truths I already know
Truths I don’t want to acknowledge
And I know the truth hurts
But in dreams it pierces my skin
Burns my flesh
Eats at me until I am hollow
Sleep
Who dares to sleep
When dreams can come true?
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